Half Crazy: It's THAT time again

FOUR MORE SLEEPS!!

I am sooo totally excited for this weekend. 

Last night I sorted my gear and put aside what I was going to wear. I also reloaded my iPod. Then spent a bit of time visualizing some  parts of the race. Then I decided to pull out pics from the last Cal Mara halfmarathon (2 years ago) I ran. Wow, in 2013, that was my 17th Halfmara!  And, I realized I picked out the same sparkle athletic skirt to wear. Ha! I picked out my race outfit based on the colour and how HAPPY it makes me. I also notice the top I am wearing -- the SAME top I wore for my race last weekend -- my FAV run shirt.

Don't worry (in case you were concerned) -- I am wearing a NEW top for THIS race. 
and mayyybe not the orange skirt...still debating! 

Maybe spending time picking out what I am wearing is silly, 

but I like to wear what makes me feel good, smile, and motivates me a little.

I love these pics taken right after the race...they epitomize the 'happy half' -- my goal for 2015.

These pics were taken at a time when I was running faster than I am now. A few months before I got my last bout of shingles...which affected my health for several months afterwards.  They show a time when I had a lot of happy while running. A time with a lot less anxiety. 

I have spent over a year clawing back and working hard to get back to THAT running pace. I have spent a whole lotta time and space chasing THAT time. I have also tried to get back to being more happy than frustrated with running. Over the last several months, run by run, race by race, I started fretting less, smiling more. Relaxing, not being so wound up by thoughts whether I am good enough, fast enough, improving enough. GAWD. It's taken some trips, a few runs (long and short), new friendships, heart to hearts with my pals, and some stern discussions with myself. It has taken a whole lotta work in regards to letting go of what I THINK others think (about me or my run). I mean ... really... no one cares. Somehow self-doubt or defeatist attitudes make one think that others are judging. When all the time it was ME who was judging. We are our biggest critics. And, if one does not celebrate the successes (big or small) then once spends too much time obsessing over stuff that doesn't matter. Right? Onwards and Upwards, indeed! 

And finally, over the last little while I seemed to find my way back to that happy pace. 

ITS ABOUT FREAKING TIME!

Last weekend I ran in the mountains. It wasn't a PB or a PR. Not an A goal. 

Nope. But it was a fine day to run. I felt strong. I was able to push and keep going and feel freaking fab. I was able to finish and say "YAY ME!" It was a course that is harder (and more hills) than Calgary and yet my mind or focus did not wander. Instead, I found peace. I didn't spend one minute of the race looking at my pace, or seeing if I was "on target". And that makes me happy. I have spent too much time worrying that I am not BACK to this or that time. I have a few friends right now who CANNOT run...so miles in for them. When you think, "I'm done" or "This is too hard", then think about how hard CHEMO is. And that gives a new perspective, too.  

This run made me feel happy and grateful that I can run. And, it felt like a whole lotta of my training runs were finally coming together. It makes me confident for this weekend. It makes me excited to be HAPPY to be toeing the line of my 37th halfmarathon. To see SO MANY of my friends doing the same. And then following it up with a super fun 5k afterwards. A few short years ago finishing a 5k was a tough haul. Today, that 5k is going to be icing on a halfmara cake. THAT is exciting! Because THAT is why I run. I will run my own race. I will run to feel great for those 21.1 km. And I know I can push a little harder, have a whole lotta fun, be kind to myself and, kick some halfmara ass! 

And, I must say, am pretty damn pumped to have #allthefun and #allthefeels

I am totally ready to ROCK my RACEDAY! 

HIGH-5 to all you racers! 

❤ Have fun ❤

Run with your HEART

#RunYYC