Put your hands together and thank my mother (and my grandmother, too) for teaching me the following
"Hooray hooray, the first of May.
Outdoor screwing begins today!"
Every year, for as long as I can remember,
she would bop around the house, or call me, or leave a message on my answering
machine. Without fail. Then she would have to call me back the very
next day to wish me a Happy Birthday. Too funny!
Note: For those of you who have never met
my mum, she is a 65-year old version of her lovely daughter. Or am I
a 43-year old version of her? Whatever. She is a veritable combo of
Martha Stewart, Ruby Wax, Eddie Izzard and Jennifer Saunders (the comedic
foible of the wonderful Dawn French). Yes. I am not lying. Not a bit. OK
maybe its a stretch to say she's like Izzard.
I certainly know that my readership (all 5 of you!) is largely composed of
persons with refined sensibilities. I hope none of me beloved readers are in
any way offended. Oh puleese. What am I saying? You will all laugh! There
is no shame in delighting in such a ditty. And, if by chance, you are offended
or need to repent…there is confession.
Get out the flowers. Skip. Dance around the May Pole. Yeeh, there is a May
Pole. (no smart ass comments from the Peanut Gallery.) Yeeh, there is a
May Pole. I am NOT being dirty. It's a real festival OKAY?
Being a Canadian, I totally understand
why the beginning of spring is such a big deal. Winter tends to
send people a bit mad.
Of course the ENGLISH came up with this
holiday...and they know a thing or two about being mad.
That said...it's rather chilly to being
pursuing such outdoor endeavours. We still have snow on the ground, and Mother
Nature insists on sending more snow our way.