I've been away....

Where did you go? 

I went away for a while. I was still hanging on the IG and Twitter but not here.

Not sure where I went,but it really wasn't a vacay. It wasn't pretty. It was sort of like a dark tunnel with no end. It started right after the most fantastic weekend EVER (hello LAS VEGAS!) I lost my job, there was no work, I started working somewhere part time - making a quarter of my usual salary. But yes I had a job. But I didn't feel grateful. More like this.

And reading some blogs made it worse. Everyone was constantly happy, Having personal bests. Running all the races. All the miles. Looking great. Being successful. Being Sofa King Awesome. All the things I wasn't. It got to the point that I would read and see everything as #humblebragging: "Oh look I just ran a gazillion miles, fed the homeless, picked up all my free stuff from my sponsors and i am so #grateful". YIKES.

But no matter what I did it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. 

I just got tired. So. Tired. All the freaking time. And couldn't write anything. And could feel like I anything to say. Because I was kind of a failure over in my world. And I was feeling like I was Debbie Downer. And despite battling the flu and still managing a December streak, I still felt like shit all the GD time. Even awesome news was meh.

And finally I had to stop. Baby steps. I got out. Called some peeps. Made some dates. Saw the sights. I didn't "choose happy". I mean, In a a way I did..but for those of us who know anxiety or depression...sometimes choosing ain't all that easy.

But each day in January I chose something. Something to change the overwhelming 'not enough'. Something to ensure I got out. even if it was "only" a walk.  I picked up a phone. I called people. I tweeted. It's the dates that made the difference. I even went a few places on my own. Because if I didnt get my arse out there, I would miss out. And, dammit, I was tired of missing out.

I also had some wine. That helped. Grape is a fruit, FYI. 

Mostly I stopped not talking to people. And then, I stopped crying and feeling so damn awful. I finally got to the point where I reached out and said...hey...whatcha doin? I even got brave with a couple wonderful folks who I know, love and trust. Because I needed help, hugs and a boost. I had stopped asking some people for coffee or a run or a visit...because they are always "too busy". And then I thought...maybe they feel like this too? 

Thank you Cara, Susan, Renee, Cori, Ashley, Melisa and Richelle. 

for listening. for being there. for knowing me and helping. 

And they didn't mind (I don't think) when I just burst into tears in midsentence. 

And suddenly my tunnel got brighter. 

So...am I better. Um no. But I am working on it. Looking for my daily signs. Doing affirmations. Trying my damn dog best to get my training runs done in addition to walking minimum of 5k every day. 

So what does this mean? It means HIHOWAREYOUIMBACK. Little by little. 

It mean DO THIS EVERYDAMNDAY! 

It means I take a breath and start over. I take one step which leads to 10,000 (if your into counting).

I run. And be grateful I CAN run. And be brave. In every day. In small or big things. 

I work on being OK with my situation and making the most of it. 

ABFAB does Rock n Roll Vancouver 10k

So last week , Susan and I (and many many others were in Vancouver for #RnRVAN! There was a 10k, a halfmarathon and a whole lotta laughs in between.

This post is ALL ABOUT the 10k race. The one where Susan and I dressed up as PAtsy Stone and Edina Monsoon from BBC series ABFAB.

So before I go any further, I need to say if you do are saying 'what is ABFAB?', then you need to go watch some episodes of Absolutely Fabulous RIGHT NOW. As Susan says, You simply must.  It needs to be in your life.

So yes. The story of the wig: I get to Vancouver and text Susan - yes anxiety reins in my world and I know my wig has not been done by my cousin...who I would have normally stayed with - but he was super busy with a last minute call to work and another house guest. We were trying to go back and forth on Thursday about when to meet and I finally said gotta pick the HAIR up Friday morning! I was freaking that it would not be done. BUT he says nah...go to the salon (the one he and his fab partner run) and pick it up there....So when I was at a nearby place for lunch whipped by and THIS GREETED ME!

I sort of freaked out at the awesomeness!

Sweetie, Size Matters!

And so I whipped out the long candy ciggie (stowed in my purse in case a pic needed to happen) and snapped this. I did not post to IG - as Sue and I wanted to ensure a FULL outfit prior to posting. FOR FULL EFFECT. But I swear I heard her squeal across the city when I sent the photo. (and, well her text pretty much told me what I knew. The HAIR was freaking monumental). So the hair and I went for lunch (with the fab Krista to the most awesome Heirloom - one of my fav Van spots) and then off to the expo. Ad the hair was truly kept under wraps until race day.

Race Day Morning: I woke up a full hour earlier than I would normal JUST to pin the HAIR into my hair. And put on makeup. Sweet Jesus! Who runs in makeup. I had the beset lippie tho - stain that does not move or wear...and waterproof eyeshadow and mascara. I put on all the layers, the jewelry and then the hair.

THEN I HAD COFFEE and a piece of toast and a hard boiled egg.

One needed some serious coffee after getting all that hair in place. 40 bobby pins later and a GOOD MORNING BITCH text was sent to Sue and Rachel so they would recognize me in a few when I arrived. (They really did know who ABFAB was - most folks didn't)

Then I walked to the bus...Trying to snap a few more pics but was cracking up at my reflection....

And then Sue sent THIS!!!! And I KNEW this would be the MOST epic thing EVER!!!

And then when I arrived I knew to go to bag check to meet Susan. Immediately there was OMG!!! And people yelling at us! ABFAB RULES!!!!

Seriously this was so awesomely epic!

Because the wigs sort of gave us alter egos - DARLING!!!!

And there were pics to be HAD!

Startline shenanigans then ensured.

Most definitely occurred with a whole lotta photos. I mean...there are no words.

But there ARE pics. A lotta epic pics.

WE met all kinds of adoring fans.... hammed for the paparazzi

And ensured our FAB pal Andrew HE would win it all!

 And then it was time to run! We positioned ourselves to start at the very front of our corral... I mean...Darling...do you KNOW who we are? And the EPIC grew from there. YES Patsy and Edina were on our bibs, too!

Umm...less than a kilometer and we were holy eff is it hard to run in this wig! That may have been uttered simultaneously! But we were cheered and high5'd the whole way. People yelling out to us how much they loved our outfits. People saying I hate to bother you, can we have a photo...I mean, it wasn't like we didn't stop and take a few on route anyways...it was a hoot to pose with people...and then even see some online later!

Then we ran into Elizabeth!

Who snapped these gems!

The water stations were also FABULOUS along the route! We made sure to stop and hydrate...and I am sre we confused the hell out of some the poor volunteers! They played gamely along "topping up" our glasses!

And we had an Elvis sighting! FABULOUS DARLING!!!

Approaching the finish was awesome...we did slow down a tad as we didn't want to completely ruin a few folks who would finish near us. I mean...some people might not appreciate a  FABULOUS photobomb!

THE Finish Line was bloody EPIC!

Seriously I certainly have never has such a good time. WE did not have a PB - but I tell you we got a workout - were drenched (those wigs were hot) and yet we finished with the best feeling ever...it was the MOST fun you could have! And to share that epic-ness with a partner in crime was the BEST!

AT this point all kinds of people were asking for photos with us. The funniest part was a group of folks from Calgary (where WE LIVE) asked us to snap some shots. They did not recognize me - some of them who I have run with before! ha!

Ummm...I had to have help getting my medal on!

And more pics ensued with our friends - these ones recognized us!

Honestly...the BEST PARTY EVER

I also think what might be the funniest part of the whole costume - is that Rock n Roll cannot use any of our pics - the CIGGIES are verboten.

AND THAT MAKES OUR OUTFITS THAT MUCH MORE BRILLIANT!!!

Darling, Sweetie, lets do this again!!!

 

 

Hemp Hearts: GIVEAWAY

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by Manitoba Harvest and the Sweat Pink community in exchange for a review of Hemp Hearts. All opinions are my own.

 

Yay I love to try new (to me) products, especially if they're edible. I mean, hello! FOOD!!! So was very happy when Manitoba Harvest send me some Hemp Hearts to try out.

I have reviewed them before, but this time instead of making energy bites, I tried a few more different dishes with the #hemphearts. I was lucky that I had a few extra packs from a few races I had done over the summer (I was hoarding the small travel size packs) so that I could take them to work or away on a few run weekends.

Hemp Hearts have some texture and flavour (sort of a nutty flavour??) but the taste is not strong at all. If you need nutritional info...they have 10g of plant protein and 10g of omegas per 30g serving. And, less carbs than the same serving of chia or flax (but hey I used Hemp Hearts with flax too - just for some extra zing).

 

The easiest way (I think) is to use em for breakfast. Fast and easy - just sprinkle on yogurt or oatmeal. I add fruit to both oatmeal and yoghurt for extra taste. I stewed some rhubarb (just chop up the rhubarb, drop in a pot with a little water and a few tablespoons of sugar - or agave - and cook till its soft).

I took my #hemplove to work to add to my meals. On a bowl of fuit, in with fruit and yogurt or in stews at lunch. Whatever suits. I say its a great way to add a little extra to your meals.

I also tried a yoghurt parfait - layering some homemade granola my sister gave me with some local honey (the unpasteurized is the BEST) with the hemp hearts and plain greek yoghurt. It was a perfect after dinner treat (could easily work as breakfast too). And, of course...add it to smoothies. Easy Peasy. And, I find that #hemphearts don't get super thick and clumpy if you add them in (unlike if you add too much ground flax -- oops)!

 

If you want some FAB recipe ideas, then check out Manitoba Harvest's recipe section in their blog. There are all kinds of great ideas - not just smoothie recipes. Muffins, guacamole, banana bread! Great ideas. Especially cause I am allergic to walnuts - so I am thinking I could use these as a nut substitute. Hmmm, what about on brownies?

 

Wanna try some Hemp Hearts?  I have a package to give away. The giveaway is open to anyone in Canada or the US.

 

Giveaway restrictions: One prize per winner. If you already one from another #Sweatpink review in the past couple weeks, please advise so I can choose another winner. 

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